I can't say too much about it, but recently I checked in the hospital and had to do a lot of testings on my body... in short, I could have something potentially very deadly but I don't know for sure yet, I'm still waiting for the result which should be coming out sometimes within this coming week.
The waiting time is killing me, and I have been completely freaked out. I tried my best to think positively, and most of the time trying to ignore the whole issue, blocking it out of my head because I know this is beyond my control, and worrying about it won't solve anything. But still, sometimes dark thoughts creep in, and I get so nervous. I am nervous and anxious right now.
How should I put it, like someone my age would think that they still have their entire life ahead of them, still so many things I haven't experience, still so many things I want to do, a lot of unfinished businesses, and future goals, and I always think that I still have so much time left.
But now I see that life can be so fragile, and that I can come to a dead end so suddenly without warning. A lot of thoughts went in my head lately, and I started seeing what's really really important to me, the things that I would miss the most and regret the most if something were to happen.
So at this point, I still don't know for sure. I'm just really really praying that my health is good. Sorry to break out such bad news so suddenly, but I feel that I need to do this.
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