The world is spinning for me these day. Someone talk to me about this. >.< Just this year, I suddenly found myself trying out a lot of new things, some that I feel pretty nervous about, but I just gotta do what I gotta do. Yes... that includes dissecting a dead person for the first time. >.>" I dissected many animals before, but this is my first time on human. I just... it's a friggin person!! They used to be just like you and me, breathing, had feelings, had memories, and now they're dead laying there waiting for people to cut them up. It's kind of like seeing myself, dissecting myself. I don't even know.
Also I'll be leading other students for several chemistry workshops... the responsibility. I am actually younger than practically all those students. At my college, some people are almost my parents' age and even older. Some are around my age though. The other leaders for chemistry are all older than me. I don't know how those students will feel seeing me leading them. Especially when chemistry isn't an easy subject, people do want to look for leaders who look reliable and experienced to lead them. It's intimidating. I barely got to this college, and suddenly I was picked to do this. And my counselor also overwrote some stuff so that I literally just jumped straight into an advanced course without taking the mandatory prerequisite. It's good that I save a lot of time, but at the same time, I'm less prepared so I have to work harder.
Ehh there are some other things that I'm going to try some time this year as well. Even trying out a new relationship maybe..? I don't want to speak too soon because I feel like I already have plenty on my plate. The guy who likes me this time is handsome, considerate, funny and reminds me a little of Levi. But whenever we were together, he watched me like a hawk! I felt so.. like that feeling of being watched constantly. Sometimes I would turn my head away or my back somewhere to dodge his stare, I couldn't stand the awkwardness.
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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I'm sure they won't mind that you're younger once they learn from you
As for the boy, D: maybe he's checking you out a bit too hard <A<; Hopefully, that was just that one time. I can imagine that being a bit unnerving.
Wow cutting up dead people... That's one of the issues I have to face too. I just found out that the course I recently got into requires me to do the same... And I'm really scared and nervous too. I'm very squeamish and couldn't even dissect a sheep heart because of the smell... Let alone a human being who was just like me before... Living, breathing, dreaming... The dead are so still and cold, it doesn't seem real. I couldn't bear to touch my grandfather after he passed away... He seemed like a shell when only days before, his hand gripped mine with gentle warmth.
I know exactly how you feel, although I can't say I'll be cutting up any dead people any time soon (I think it'll begin in my second year of uni)... Apparently they preserve the body with this gas that makes you hungry after the prac too.. Which is impossible to imagine. I honestly doubt I'd be able to choke anything down after cutting up someone's loved one...
But, it can't be helped. I will try to be grateful for the sacrifice the person has made, letting students learn from their body once they died. It's gonna be okay. Good luck!
Oh and good luck with the new relationship! Go with your instincts.
I didn't know that the chemical used to preserve the body would make you feel hungry. Usually my labs are 3 hours long and I would feel hungry after whether we dissect or not. I dissected a heart before, too. And some animals and I was shocked that there are animals that I wouldn't normally touch if they were alive, but I was very comfortable dissecting them once they were dead. Like frogs are example.
I'm sorry about your grandpa though. I know that looking at a dead person could never be the same as looking as a living person. It brings out that emptiness feeling like once the switch is off, they can never come back to us again. But like they always say, the memories are still there and those memories will give life to them.
Mm it's bizarre. I think it's called formaldehyde. I hope it doesn't have the rumored effect. Oh that's a really good point. I think it's mainly the smell that puts me off, when dissecting animal parts. If I couldn't smell anything, then it's fine.
Thinking about the dead, it's really just a reminder for us to make the most out of life, since we can never avoid it; it'll be at the end anyway, no matter what you spend your limited time doing.
A "humorous" look at anatomy. I will take care when I get to a pelvis prac now.
You seem like a strong leader! Don't worry what others think. You'll prove to them that you can lead them when you show them how smart you are! Plus just think of how good it'll look on a resume that you were able to lead a bunch of people the same age as you or older!~ You can do it! Don't let them scare you!
I'm not that great with love tips... but >>" the constant staring does seem a little creepy. But maybe he really really really super likes you?